Are you wired to have more sex?

Unable to figure out why you can't get to bed with her after several attempts while your closest friend is never short of offers? Your brain is simply not wired for sex. According to a fascinating research, some people are actually wired to have more sex - or at least be really, really motivated to hook up. "Some people's brains are simply more sensitive to sexual cues than others - which mean it takes less to get them aroused and ultimately leads them to find sexual partners," explained Nicole Prause, an assistant research scientist in psychiatry at University of California Los Angeles. To prove their point, Prause and her team recruited psychology students to get an electroencephalogram (EEG) of their brains and to view 225 standardised pictures of pleasant, neutral or unpleasant things. The pleasant images included sexually stimulating ones like explicit pictures of people having sex. The students were also asked about their number of sexual partners in the past year. Some of the participants showed strong reactions on the EEG to nearly all of the intimacy-themed images, regardless of whether they were explicit. These were the same people who reported having more partners. For these people, said Prause, it's not a chasing of a "high" or a reward but a biological sensitivity to sexual cues that sets their arousal threshold at a much lower level. We may be wired to want sex, but that does not mean the wiring can't be re-routed, she said in the study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.

The new way to foreplay

Chances are, you and your guy have a few go-to moves that are guaranteed to get you both hot and primed for action. But sticking to the same old thing won't always lead to a bed-shaking finale. When you touch each other in a familiar way every time, your body becomes desensitised, and it won't feel as arousing. We discovered uncharted erogenous zones so packed with powerful nerve endings, just touching them takes you from 0 to 69. The ultrasensitive border around the lips Okay, so you know how to kiss. But what you probably don't know is that there's an undercover pleasure transmitter, the buccal nerve, surrounding the edges of the mouth. This is a extremely sensitive to touch, but it's often overlooked since most people focus on the plump part of the lips. Trace the tip of your finger around the edges of your mouth and you'll experience a tingly, almost ticklish feeling. Kiss him as you normally do, then use the tip of your tongue to trace the edge of his upper lip lightly. Pull back, kiss him again, then trace the border of his bottom lip. It subconsciously reminds him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his penis. The technique works when he does it to you too, triggering thoughts of his tongue below the belt. That sexy dip where neck meets chest The entire area between your jawline and shoulders is an erogenous zone, but there's one particular destination that'll spark distinct goose bumps. It's that little indentation where the neck connects with the collarbone. The skin is thinner there, and there's not as much fatty tissue underneath, so the sensations are stronger. So as you kiss down his neck, trail the tips of your index and middle fingers from one shoulder to the dip in the centre in a slow, circular motion. Then move your mouth over the spot and kiss it. The combination of the heat and touch relaxes the body, turning you on. Plus, when your guy touches you here, your entire chest becomes more sensitive, including your breasts, which increases your pleasure. Erotic pathways on the sides of the torso Snaking from the bottom of the rib cage to the hips is a powerful nerve that, when stimulated, connects directly to your clitoris and your man's penis. When you touch this area, it reflexively causes the pelvic-floor muscles to contract in both men and women, which increases arousal. Start on one side, just underneath the rib cage, and either stroke the area with your hand or alternate between kissing and lightly nibbling your way down to the hip bone. On a guy, you'll actually see his testicles and penis contracting. And you'll feel the contractions in your vaginal wall and clitoral area as he does the same move on you. These pelvic contractions create a build-up to one hell of an orgasm. That pleasure mound on the lower back The knob at the base of the spine is rife with pleasure potential nerves. So give each other a sexy rubdown. Start at the shoulder blades, and work your hands down in a kneading motion. At the lower back lightly spiral your fingers over the base. This area is so receptive, just the softest touch will send chills throughout the body. You can also brush the tips of your hair against the skin and then switch to raking your fingernails gently across it to deepen the sensation. The teasing trail on the thighs One of the most explosive nerves is located at the top of the inner thigh. It's called the ilioinguinal nerve, and it's incredibly sensitive to touch. Start by licking your finger and slowly drawing it from the mid-inner thigh to the top. Then follow the path you just traced with your tongue, teasing your way to the upper region. Because the skin here is tender, it's important to watch how he reacts. If he flinches, you're exciting the nerve to the point where it feels too ticklish. As your guy touches you here, you'll notice your breath becoming more rapid and your pelvis starting to spasm. The reason: Caressing this area indirectly stimulates the genitals, since the nerves around it are firing pleasure signals to the brain. Now is the time to put your guy's hand exactly where you're craving it... and enjoy the ride.

Figuring Out What Better Sex Means to You, And How to Have It

Depending on where you are in your life, your sexual goals may be more about finding someone to have sex with, than how to have better sex. But those who have a regular sexual partner (or more than one) often eventually turn to the question of how to have better sex. You can tell that this is a common question in part by the dizzying array of books, videos, and workshops that promise to give you better sex for $19.95. The problem with most promises of better sex is that they ignore a fundamental aspect of sexual experience; that it's both individual and subjective. Better sex for your neighbor may be nothing like better sex for you. In fact, the person you're having sex with may think better sex is something very different from what you imagine better sex to be. So before you buy another book, watch another video, or take another class, you need to start with what might seem like a not very sexy question: What does better sex mean to you? It's a big question, so here are a few specifics to think about: Does better sex mean doing sexual things that you aren't doing now? Things you have never done? Is it the sex that you want to change, or yourself? Your own feelings or orientation toward sex? Does better sex mean more sex? Is frequency alone a factor? Does it mean more partners? A different partner? Do you want better sex because you want to make a good thing better, a bad thing good, both? Why do you want better sex in the first place? These are questions worth asking even if you think there's nothing you can do about it. If you're in a monogamous relationship you might think there's no point in wondering about other partners. But there's a big difference between thought and action, and for your own sexual (and mental) health, consider giving yourself permission to at least think about all your options. If you are in a relationship it's unlikely you can make any changes to your sex life without talking to your partner and getting them on board. To do that you need to make sure you both want a change, and your both willing to explore different kinds of change. Of course the most enduring sexual relationship any of us have is with ourselves, and you can explore and experiment with different kinds of sex on your own anytime. If better sex for you is really about a change in attitude or focus, this is something you can do on your own, consciously changing the way you masturbate but also what you're thinking about while you masturbate. Better sex has to start with you, both metaphorically and literally. I don't believe there's any packaged way to guarantee better sex. The best you can do is get other people's ideas of sex, think about them for yourself, and experiment. To that end, here are a few resources on About.com that may be helpful in getting you thinking about and exploring better sex.

How to Make Your Wedding Night Unforgettable

If you'll be a virgin on your wedding night, you're probably feeling some apprehension about what will happen on your honeymoon. Here are sex tips and advice to help things go smoothly. How to Communicate Before the Wedding Night Pick a quiet moment to ask your soon-to-be-spouse "are you feeling nervous at all about our wedding night?" Odds are, he or she will be relieved to have the opportunity to talk about it. Talk about what your hopes and fears are. If your partner has sexual experience or you want to prevent pregnancy, talking about safer sex is essential. You may want to visit a counselor, or talk about sex during your pre-wedding counseling. If you are too nervous to bring up the subject of sex, consider leaving a magazine open, or even forwarding this article in an email. How to Communicate During Sex The most important sex tip for being a great lover is to learn how to communicate in bed. For nervous first timers, it might seem more natural to stay silent; dirty talk can be intimidating. Try saying, "That feels good" or just moaning a little when you like something. Be observant of your partner as well - if they're quiet and still, you might want to try something different. You can ask, "Does that feel good?" or "Can I try..." Most importantly, speak up when something doesn't feel good. Sex can and should give both of you pleasure. Will She Bleed? Will it Be Painful? When a woman loses her virginity, it is possible for it to be a little bloody or painful. However, it shouldn't last for too long, and it is almost never very serious. To make things easier, make sure there's plenty of foreplay before you try penetration. You'll also want to have a good lubricant. I recommend a brand called "Slippery Stuff" because it is safe to use with latex, and it's glycerin-free. (Glycerin can cause yeast infections.) Even if you use a lubricated condom, you'll want to use extra lube. And, if you're afraid of bleeding on the hotel sheets, bring a towel with you, or your own sheets. Will He Be Able to Maintain an Erection? What Happens If He Can't? The pressure of the wedding night can be too much for many men. If things aren't "working," try to change up the mood. Spend some time kissing, and fondling each other. Perhaps make a game out of how many different body parts you can kiss, or be a little more serious by talking about the wedding, your love for each other, and milestones ahead of you. Most importantly remember that sex isn't just about penetration. There are lots of ways to make each other feel good that don't require an erection. Will I Be Any Good? How Can I Wow My New Husband or Wife? Sex, like most things, takes practice. You are likely to be a little clumsy and to feel a little goofy. Take things slowly, and try to listen to your partner. Find out what feels good, and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to ask! But don't concentrate on how mind-blowing (or not!) the physical feelings are. Instead try to be gentle with one another, and focus on how amazing it is to finally be in each other's arms as a married couple.

How to Be the Best He's Ever Had in Bed

We all strive to be the best at most things in life and being mind-blowingly awesome in bed is no different. Let's admit it, every woman wants to give her man the most memorable time of his life. Because like men, women need some praise too to feel good. Here are some tips that will make you the best he's ever had or ever will (in bed). ;) Get wet, go! When we talk about sex, wetter is better. Don't be afraid to use lubricant to make things better in the bedroom. Lubricants enhance sensation and make things under the sheet more pleasurable. You could use some lube while giving him a hand job too. Trust us, he will love you for this. https://s3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/r0VTlBg.t2ryr6FKQZqZ3g--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD00NTA7cT03NTt3PTYwMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_IN/Lifestyles/idiva_slideshow/eat_the_cake_600x450.jpg Get down and dirty It's no secret that guys love it when their women go down on them. A lot of women frown upon the idea of a blowjob. But if you want to be the best, you got to get down and dirty, girls. Try not to be mechanical about it and enjoy yourself when you go down on him. He will treasure you all his life. https://s3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/8V40m2P_3RCxc.wIHPFGIQ--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD00NTA7cT03NTt3PTYwMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_IN/Lifestyles/idiva_slideshow/woman_on_top1_600x450.jpg Initiate It's a huge turn on for a man, if a woman makes the first move. It makes him feel desired and loved and who could say no to that? If you want to be the ultimate sex goddess in bed, don't wait for him to make the first move. Take matters in your own hands and give him the time of his life. https://s3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/YvdDKBEFtMCNSwrKjjqpCw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD00NTA7cT03NTt3PTYwMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_IN/Lifestyles/idiva_slideshow/spooning_with_a_difference1_600x450.jpg Dirty talk The thing about talking dirty is that it can either be very sexy or a turn off. You have to do this tactfully to not sound crass. You could read erotic novels to get the drift or practise by talking dirty to yourself during your alone time. If it sounds stupid to you, then keep practising till you feel good about it before using it on him. Dirty talking is a rare quality in women, so he is sure to cherish it. https://s1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/q.DYmRy9z9YAVxY5KVxDXw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT03NTt3PTU0MA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_IN/Lifestyles/idiva_slideshow/leap_frog1_600x450.jpg

If this is what spornosexual means, then God help us all

If you thought the mankini was bad, the penchant for men revealing way more than they need to on the beach has now reached a whole new level. The half-thong mankini hybrid. I'm genuinely sorry I had to share this picture (above) with you. But really, we need to take note. If this is what some men think makes them look sexy, then we're all doomed. Brace yourself, though, because there's much, more more of it to come, if we are to believe the rise of so-called 'spornosexuality'. The term encapsulates the new breed of male who thinks nothing of using (and abusing) products, practises and pleasures previously only the domain of women and gay men. Practises including wearing half-thongs to the beach. With their painstakingly pumped and chiselled bodies, muscle-enhancing tattoos, piercings, adorable beards and plunging necklines it’s eye-catchingly clear that second-generation metrosexuality is less about clothes than it was for the first," writes Simpson.The entire male cast of The Only Way Is Essex is a case in point. Think of Towie's Dan Osborne in a pair of glittery speedos, Simpson says. But wait - oh wait - it's already gone one step further... There are no words. Erm... Obscene... this must be a joke... obscene? Honestly, I'm struggling. I am scarred for life, is what I am. As are plenty of other law-abiding citizens who responded to my outcry on Twitter today. http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02939/Towie-pants_2939426b.jpg

Sexual harassment of U.S. journalists in Egypt

During the last days of anti-government protests in Isr U.S. journalist Lara Logan had been sexually assaulted. Lara abused by unscrupulous elements also had to beat them with. U.S. news channel CBS News correspondent Lara was in Cairo last week, where the incident took place with them. There are still red marks on his body. New York Post newspaper reports, Lara was naked. Their time and again been beaten. There are red marks on his body. It seemed that began in their flags were beaten with sticks Lara. A friend said Lara, Lara's health is improving rapidly. Right now he is in no position to talk. Their hearts - and minds have been deeply affected by the incident.

How often do men really think about sex?

We've all been told that men think about you-know-what far too often – every seven seconds, by some accounts. Most of us have entertained this idea for long enough to be sceptical. However, rather than merely wonder about whether this is true, stop for a moment to consider how you could – or could not – prove it. If we believe the stats, thinking about sex every seven seconds adds up to 514 times an hour. Or approximately 7,200 times during each waking day. Is that a lot? It sounds like a big number to me, I’d imagine it’s bigger than the number of thoughts I have about anything in a day. So, here’s an interesting question: how is it possible to count the number of mine, or anyone else’s thoughts (sexual or otherwise) over the course of a day? Using this method they found that the average man in their study had 19 thoughts about sex a day. This was more than the women in their study – who had about 10 thoughts a day. However, the men also had more thoughts about food and sleep, suggesting perhaps that men are more prone to indulgent impulses in general. Or they are more likely to decide to count any vague feeling as a thought. Or some combination of both. The interesting thing about the study was the large variation in number of thoughts. Some people said they thought about sex only once per day. This is exactly the circumstances the participants in Fisher's study found themselves in. They were given a clicker by the researchers and asked to record when they thought about sex (or food or sleep). Imagine them walking away from the psychology department, holding the clicker in their hand, trying hard not to think about sex all the time, yet also trying hard to remember to press the clicker every time they did think about it. My bet is that the poor man who clicked 388 times was as much a victim of the experimental design as he was of his impulses. The results aren't directly comparable to the Fisher study, as the most anyone could record thinking about sex was seven times a day. But what is clear is that people thought about it far less often than the seven-second myth suggests. They recorded a sexual thought in the last half hour on approximately 4% of occasions, which works out as about once per day, compared with 19 reported in the Fisher study. The real shock from Hoffman's study is the relative unimportance of sex in the participants' thoughts. People said they thought more about food, sleep, personal hygiene, social contact, time off, and (until about 5pm) coffee. Watching TV, checking email and other forms of media use also won out over sex for the entire day. In fact, sex only became a predominant thought towards the end of the day (around midnight), and even then it was firmly in second place, behind sleep. Hoffman's method is also contaminated by a white bear effect, though, because participants knew at some point during the day they'd be asked to record what they had been thinking about. This could lead to overestimating some thoughts. Alternately, people may have felt embarrassed about admitting to having sexual thoughts throughout the day, and therefore underreported it. So, although we can confidently dismiss the story that the average male thinks about sex every seven seconds, we can't know with much certainty what the true frequency actually is. Probably it varies wildly between people, and within the same person depending on their circumstances, and this is further confounded by the fact that any efforts to measure the number of someone's thoughts risks changing those thoughts. There’s also the tricky issue that thoughts have no natural unit of measurement. Thoughts aren't like distances we can measure in centimetres, metres and kilometres. So what constitutes a thought, anyway? How big does it need to be to count? Have you had none, one or many while reading this? Plenty of things to think about!